So last week was a pretty insane week, I was pretty blown away at things that were happening.
I’m still feeling the affects of it this week, it’s as if I have gone numb & I don’t want to say much, just think or dwell.
This sounds like it’s depressing which it kind of isn’t so bear with me.
It all started when an old roomie/ good friend of mine had a going away get-together announcing they had decided to move back home, a.k.a, out of state.
By the end of the night I got notification that a sweet old friend, who I grew up with in church, passed away.
They were young, but struggling with physical illness and so sure there is peace they are out of pain now, but it hit me like a train.
I drove home. Every night I drove home until the night of their visitation (I call it closure) I just cried, a hard cry.
I never once said “God why did this happen to them?” or “God why did you put them through so many problems”
I cried because we lost one of the good ones. I cried because they are really gone. I cried because I couldn’t imagine what the family went through/ is going through. I cried because it hit home.
As some of you might know, my sister has cerebral palsy.
I have mentioned before, they are the special ones. They touch people’s lives through their non-judgmental smiles, waves, funny phrases, kind words, and warm laughs.
I know people were touched by their life, I know they know they were loved..
But it still brought me back to a place where things aren’t all about me and to a place where other’s feelings are far more important than my own.
It was a silver lining in that sense.
I was trumped all week. It was all I could think of in the back of my mind. I thought about how the family felt, I thought about how his pain is over, the anguish is finally over, he fought a good 23 years and in that time blessed every one he came in contact with. How I am glad I was one of the lucky people to know who he was.
Death is never easy. I don’t really like telling people “They are in a better place” Even though they are, just because you know how death is, we all do.
No matter how someone has left this earth, it haunts us. Unspoken words, future experiences they won’t be there for.
There have been a couple of strangers who have told me how to deal with losing a parent, spouse, friends, or relatives, they said, “You just do.”
So you can’t really tell me that you just get over it, but you do what you can and make the best of life and enjoy it with others you love, just like that person would want for you.
If you must, be happy for them.
I just continue to be inspired by who they were and how they smiled through disability and pain. That part, brightens my day, everyday.