Our minds can be stripped of their intelligence and our souls of their compassion.
I can fall into the routines of norm & get used to being too tired to call up Grandma and tell her I love her or too busy to drop everything and make time for a night out with my best friend who is going through so much.
I found myself, just within the past couple of days honestly, craving emotion. As if it has vanished and I can’t feel anything at all.
My mentality is in a numb state, or so I keep repeating to myself.
I’m not trying to shrug people off or be cliche suddenly in my customer service form.
I just lack the love that was placed in my heart. Just lately, I mean it isn’t gone forever.
My point and problem is I revert to thinking, oh my gosh, I was such a soul searcher before what happened to me now?
So I come up with excuses, I need to move out again, I’m too tired from working two jobs, or I need to meet more people.
What I lack though, is not love. No, see love is in all of us. It’s in our makeup.
Perhaps I have buried it over months time, but I have not lost it.
I lack the will to take notice. I keep pushing, oh and I keep over-thinking, which I do believe kills magic.
So in talking with strangers and getting in touch with loved ones I have treated them as bystanders, like I am on a train waving hello or giving out small talk.
Looking them in their eyes and quickly understanding their words, but continuing to move without much more thought.
It’s killing me to talk down on myself and say that I need to get better.
The one thing that is true is I just should slow down. My advice to anyone quoting “I long to feel something” is to just drop what you’re doing sometimes, stop, pause, take a moment, notice.
The only way I’ve ever been at peace was the time in my life where I let go and let be.
My problems last, your problems first.
No one is too busy for God, people, pets, school, work, etc. It is an easy excuse, if you take the effort to notice things, you’ll feel something.
Look to the sky at that chirping sparrow that you have ‘heard about one thousand times’ and just listen.
Look to that customer almost in tears about something much deeper than a screwed up caramel latte order, and just listen.
Take notice, this is my advice to myself.