Full blown, embrace yourself, as in, embrace who you are, where you are, and who’s by your side. Embrace your every day.
Lately I started getting down on myself because I felt I was not good enough, I felt like since my other friends are closing in on graduating from college, getting engaged..having babies even.. I started to compare my life to theirs.
Which is weird, it never bothered me before.
Here’s to another year, I am 22 now and I suppose that’s the chunk of the reason why. I guess I “low-key” feel like wow what if I never settle down or sort my life out to something that makes sense?
If that’s the case for MY life I should embrace it though. I’ve never liked routine and normal anyway. My path is going to be different from yours, his, hers, theirs.
Bitterness and jealously are ugly in any form. Let me tell you lately I have been a monster of them both.
Looking around seeing “everyone” getting together, friends moving onto big jobs and prospering.
I can’t say that first reaction has been pure joy.
It is a nasty habit to think sarcastic things when others are accomplishing big happy things in their lives.
Today, also Christmas Hey MERRY CHRISTMAS!, I came to a couple conclusions and sort of realized what I have been doing to others and myself.
What brought me to all of this thinking, at least at once, was Christmas dinner the past two days. My brother sitting with his girlfriend, my sister with her husband (after all those years she joked she’d be the last to get married ..just saying 😉 ), at a friend’s last night it was more couples galore.
“Everyone” settling down.
And then there was me. By myself. Same as last year. Probably the same as next year.
Here tonight I left the festivities early and I’ve had some time to myself, some much needed prayer, and some stress relief dancing I’ll call it.
I’ll get into these modes where I constantly tell myself I am not good enough, not cool enough, not smart enough, and really just pretty pointless to life. Nothing major. Just some self bullying we all tend to do.
Well I hit a stopping point, I just quieted my thoughts and snapped back to reality.
I’ll tell you what, I really honestly DO love who I am, for heaven’s sake I laugh at my OWN jokes.
I am thankful that things have been given (oh so many) and taken away (rightfully so).
SO WHAT Listen. With anything you do, run with it, find what makes you happy and if you have don’t let anyone condemn your happiness. Be you, full blast. If that makes sense? Anyway where you are right now is not where you are going to be forever. Also if someone calls you weird, agree. You probably are and you should love that.
I am very independent, it kind of makes sense why I am the loner sibling, being with or without a mate does not define anyone anyway.
I love travelling, I love seeing new places, experience. I’m not going to quit just to appear more responsible.
I love laughing, I love weird voices and making up scenarios and being funny. If that makes me crazy so be it.
I love being around all kinds of people. I am accepting.
I love writing so if I want to pursue it in a career I will.
Embrace you. You are so special please do not fall into the norm or better yet try to be anything but yourself.