If you have held a conversation with me at all since August chances are I have told you, probably excitably, that I am taking a philosophy class this semester. And for those of you who know me, you know this is right up my alley. I never realized just how great it would be to take a course like this though, one that really challenges you to think differently or one that has you question what you have always known, just to get you thinking, wondering.
One topic we have covered this week is truth.
“People behave and act not according to what the truth may be, but to what they believe the truth might be.”
Basically, how I have understood this, is that we will believe the “truth” for how we see it. We will speak to ourselves these absolute “truths”.
I have told myself that things are a certain way and I will believe it because I have said it to myself over and over and of course, through experiences that seem familar, I just “know” what will happen again based upon what has happened before.
There are “truths” we are so sure about because when it comes time to defend what we know we are quick to back up our statements, “I know this because what I have seen.”, “It is going to happen this way because it sounds like something that already has, I know from experience.”
Each person has experiences all their own, all different. Each person learns from different upbringings. Each person has their own truth or how they see the truth.
And then there is just the truth. The truth as it is. The reality.
You may have heard something and not liked the way it sounded.
Ever hear the phrase “the truth hurts” ?
It does hurt, sometimes. It hurts if we let it and we do not accept it for not only just what it is, but for every component in and around that truth.
Let’s say that you’ve been cheated on. Either your emotions will negatively dictate how you take that or you could accept that it happened and that there could be simple or valid reasons as to why this has happened. And since you know the truth and you have common sense you will not return to that situation. Or you could let your emotions control you again and you could bend the reality to fit what you want it to be. You could believe that everything is fine when it isn’t because you reflect on “how things used to” and you do not want to think about your significant other lying to you even if they are.
I know that was probably personal for some and I apologize, there are many circumstances in which we allow ourselves to be ruled by what we feel rather than what is actually true. That was just one of many examples of how we may not want something to be true even though it is.
“Give me strength to accept the things I cannot change.”
My new philosophy is to accept events for what they are. I don’t want to lie to myself, I also don’t want to rely solely on my knowledge. My immaturity lies in not accepting certain news when I hear it, I often will try to fight it, change it. That is an endless battle though. Sometimes you do not receive answers, sometimes plans fail, sometimes things take a 180 turn and you never saw it coming. The ideal response? Acceptance. You won’t fully be happy if you keep chasing after things that will never come to you. You’ll never be happy pouting around about unexpected happenings. You’ll never be happy trying to change something back to the way it was. Because no two things happen the same way twice anyway.
You could get bummy and automatically assume no guy/girl is going to love you because the last five didn’t. You could get prideful and protective of your own heart, so much that you do not care if that means hurting anyone else’s. You could believe that you cannot trust anyone because you have been lied to, etc.
You could accept truth for what it is.
There is so much more happiness in that and sure there is pain in the initial moment of hearing the truth sometimes, but it is only because of our own expectations.
This acceptance helps us later on when we are faced with new experiences, we can understand that things are different all the time, the same good or bad things that have happened before to us won’t necessarily happen again. Therefore with acceptance you can move on and you can live fully and take chances that could impact you for the rest of your life.
With that being said, on the topic of emotions and so forth, I came across that classic post “
Do not cross oceans for people that would not cross puddles for you’ No. do cross oceans for people, love deeply, life and love isn’t about what you gain but what you give.”
This hit me on top of all this too because emotions and feelings are wonderful and real believe me on that.
But when focused on ourselves these emotions can hinder us from giving to others, from living fully.
Don’t get locked away by your pride, guilt, fear, sorrow. Be free in the fact that yes, yes you have been hurt before. Yes you would rather it not happen again. But you cannot live truly by constantly protecting yourself and fearing getting hurt. It’s going to happen regardless unless you live in a bubble somewhere on an abandoned island…or something like that.
So you may as well give your all, don’t be mediocre in your love, in your life. Please remember that not every person out on the street is out to get you. Please remember we are all souls and just as you feel, so does the person next to you. You can live beyond emotion by not allowing it to control you, but by perhaps once again, acceptance.
Rest easy friends.