Worn down. Eyes drooping. Body is sore.
Soul is warm. Heart is full. Mind is contemplative.
In an introspective way I search myself and I find that all of this doesn’t matter.
We could be living our lives for no reason..
But the process is something. The process is purpose enough.
I am in a state of pure thoughtfulness- a place I have not been in quite a while. For the past few months, prior to this one, I let myself be overcome with my own made up anxieties and negativeness.
Run to a new job or be unhappy I said. Ignore those nice things happening to me because I still tell myself I am inefficient because I am not talented in the way my friends are.
My gosh what if none of that matters either?!
Well, it doesn’t.
You see I am in a place of content. It is not one of settling or giving up. But it is one of letting go and being at peace. I cannot tell you how happy you would be if you would let go of forcing things to change.
Anyway so this life thing, its obviously a complicated one full of twists and turns and greatness and heartbreak.
But there are things that keep me the happy human being that I am.
There are so many things to experience and I am beyond grateful I have experienced what I have thus far.
There are these exhilarating things we get to experience, simple things.
Riding your bike at night with the cool breeze flowing through your hair, laying in the grass on a warm day, kissing that person you never expected to, meeting strangers, jumping into big bodies of water, seeing the ocean for the first time, bonding with a friend, reminiscing with your siblings, eating delicious food, learning, growing…
There is so much more than being grumpy, unsatisfied, discontent….feeling “what’s the use?”
Maybe there is not a use.
But maybe we can breathe and enjoy each individual moment we have,
in the meantime.